Somethings Gotta Give

Obese.

That one word, shattered my world.

I was sitting there on the exam table yesterday expecting all sorts of praise from my doctor about how great my health was. I have always had very low blood pressure, my HDL (good cholesterol) is high and my LDL (bad cholesterol) is low, I have no medical conditions whatsoever and I have never been on any medications for my health. I figured I was the picture perfect state of health for a busy, overworked 40-something mother of 3.

But obese? That’s the last thing out of her mouth that I expected.

A pit started growing in my stomach.

Wait, I eat vegetables. I cook our meals at home, I don’t choose to go out to eat more than once a week or sometimes only once every two weeks.

I had felt the extra pounds and knew I was overweight, but wait, didn’t I just have a baby….oh, crap, that was 10 years ago now. My hips and knees have been a little achy here and there but my dad has bad knees and I remember my grandmother complaining about her hips aching so isn’t it just hereditary? I don’t have a sweet tooth. One extra helping at supper and then finishing off the pan while I’m doing the dishes is ok, after all I didn’t even have lunch today.

I was beginning to see that these were just excuses. Excuses because I didn’t want to do the hard work. I didn’t want to fight with my family about changing our diet or try to make time in my 28 hour day to try to… Fit. In. Exercise.

But obese, seriously? I have never had a bad self/body image. That word made me see that this has nothing to do with my body image (ok, feeling good and looking good in my clothes would be nice again) but this has more to do with my overall health. The numbers might be good right now but if I keep carrying this extra weight on me another 5 – 10 years it could be detrimental to my health.

I am 43 years old….44 in a few weeks, 5 foot 5.5 inches and I weigh 195.2 lbs and I’m considered obese.

I sit here afraid to push the publish button, afraid of what will happen, what will everyone think, what if I can’t do it…. and I catch myself making excuses.

No more excuses.

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